In 2026, masculinity is getting rewritten in real time. The culture tends to hand men two broken options: dominate or disappear. Be loud and controlling, or be passive and checked out. But Scripture gives a third way: Jesus. And when a man follows Jesus, it changes every relationship connected to him.

The crisis isn’t masculinity, it’s discipleship

A lot of the pain people feel in relationships comes from leadership without love, or love without leadership. Some have seen power abused. Others have watched men opt out. Either way, women and children carry the weight. God’s design isn’t tyranny or apathy; it’s humble strength shaped by the cross.

1) A man of God leads like Jesus

Biblical leadership isn’t “I’m in charge.” It’s “I’m responsible.” Genesis shows men placed in the garden “to work it and keep it” (Genesis 2:15). Responsibility comes before romance. In the New Testament, headship is never permission to control; it’s a call to sacrifice. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

In real life, this leadership looks like initiative, prayer, serving, and being the first to repent. Not perfection. Repentance. A man who can own sin and turn to Jesus builds trust in every relationship around him.

2) A man of God leads with integrity, not image

In a world of profiles, filters, and “situationships,” character is rare. Song of Songs paints a picture where community can testify to a man’s reputation. Integrity isn’t a brand, it’s a legacy. Your name carries weight, like fragrance, drawing people in or pushing them away.

That means relationships shouldn’t be isolated. Dating shouldn’t be secret. A man of God lives in the light: known by God and known by people. Integrity shows up at work, at church, in friendships, online, and in private habits.

3) A man of God is clear and kind

A lot of relational confusion comes from men who won’t be honest about intentions. Song of Songs shows pursuit, clarity, and intentionality. Not manipulation. Not vague “hanging out.” A man of God is direct, respectful, and consistent.

And in marriage? Kindness compounds over time. Words matter. Encouragement matters. A man who regularly honors his wife, speaks life, and notices her carries Christ into the home.

4) A man of God creates safety

Security isn’t about being the loudest guy in the room. It’s about being steady. Song of Songs describes love that covers and protects; a relationship where a woman can rest because she feels safe. Safety is emotional, spiritual, and physical.

This is especially important in 2026, when so many people carry fear, trauma, and distrust. A man of God doesn’t treat women as objects to conquer. He treats them as image-bearers to honor. He’s protective without being possessive. Strong without being scary.

The goal: a different picture of masculinity

Jesus is full of grace and full of truth. Not soft. Not harsh. Holy. That’s what real masculinity looks like. And when men live that way, relationships heal: marriages strengthen, dating gets healthier, friendships deepen, kids flourish, and the church becomes a safer home for people who’ve been hurt.

Watch Sunday’s sermon

This message is bigger than a blog can hold. If you want the full biblical vision for relationships and what it looks like to be a man of God right now, watch Sunday’s sermon and lean into this series through Song of Songs.