Honest, Wise, Life-Giving, Rooted in Christ

Song of Songs is not a textbook—it’s poetry. It’s raw, emotional, and deeply human. And that’s part of the beauty: God isn’t afraid of real desire, real longing, and real relationship. In week two of our series, we sat in Song of Songs 1–2 and asked a simple question: What does a woman of God look like—especially when it comes to dating, marriage, and everything in between?

1) The woman of God is honest

Right out of the gate, the woman speaks with clarity: she expresses desire, attraction, and pursuit. She’s not pretending she doesn’t feel anything. She’s not spiritualizing her emotions into silence. She brings what’s real into the light.

That matters because hidden things grow heavy. When insecurity, fear, unmet expectations, and disappointment stay underground, they don’t disappear—they come out sideways. The message named something many couples have lived: a five-hour fight over something small is rarely about the small thing. Often, it’s the overflow of weeks of unspoken hurt.

Honesty isn’t just about attraction; it’s also about vulnerability. The woman names her insecurity and doesn’t hide it. Biblical honesty creates space for real intimacy—emotionally, spiritually, and yes, physically in its proper place.

Discipleship takeaway: If it can’t be brought into the light, it probably shouldn’t be carried alone.

2) The woman of God is wise

Song of Songs is not just “him and her.” There’s community around them—voices, watchfulness, accountability, wisdom. That’s a big deal for dating today because modern dating often isolates: one screen, one person, and very little real-life community context.

Wisdom asks better questions:

Do trusted people know this person?

Is character visible in community, not just in private?

Are there guardrails that protect holiness, trust, and long-term love?

The message also challenged the idea that “he goes to church” automatically means mature discipleship. Attendance is not the same thing as formation. Wisdom looks for patterns, community, integrity, and the fruit of a life being shaped by Jesus.

Discipleship takeaway: Don’t date in isolation. Bring relationships into community where character can actually be seen.

3) The woman of God is life-giving

Song of Songs uses “fragrance” language—words and love that linger like a scent in a room. That’s the picture: a woman of God carries life into spaces. Not because life is always easy, but because her words aren’t a constant drip of cynicism, contempt, or defeat.

Scripture is clear that words are powerful (Proverbs says they can bring life or death). The message applied this right into marriage: a spouse’s voice carries weight unlike anyone else’s. Encouragement can strengthen faith and resilience; ongoing criticism can erode a person from the inside.

This doesn’t mean ignoring truth or pretending pain isn’t real. It means refusing to let the atmosphere of a home be defined by hostility and hopelessness.

Discipleship takeaway: Ask: What am I filling my home with—life or death?

4) The woman of God is rooted in Christ

None of this is a “try harder” list. The message landed on the foundation: rooted in Christ means repentance, confession, forgiveness, and healing are normal parts of relationship.

If relationships are one of the main places the enemy attacks, then the answer isn’t pretending to be strong. The answer is staying close to Jesus—returning to grace when we fail and practicing confession and forgiveness when we hurt each other.

That’s why the message ended with communion: a moment to remember Jesus, to examine our hearts, and to invite God to move in our relationships—single, dating, engaged, married, remarried, grieving, and everything in between.

A simple next step

Bring one thing into the light this week (a fear, insecurity, temptation, or wound).

Invite community in (a trusted friend, mentor, small group).

Speak life intentionally (encouragement that is specific, not generic).

Return to Jesus quickly (confession and forgiveness aren’t a failure—they’re a pathway to healing).

If you missed the message, watch the full sermon and take communion with us as you do. 🙌